Joseph Campbell once said: “We have to let go of the life we have planned…to accept the one that is waiting for us.”
However nothing could have been further from the truth for me. All I did is want a life I envisioned as a young girl. The type of life you see on TV. A fantasy. People’s perceptions were all I cared about. I had to please others in order to please myself. How backwards is that?
ME. A short curvy shaped girl with skewered teeth and a mind full of ideas. I never looked the same as my peers or came close to anything in a magazine. For the longest time I hated how I looked and became insecure.
It took me a long time to gain my confidence, my voice and trust my own wisdom. There was nothing wrong with me. Sure I may look different but I lacked nothing.
I am nothing if not abundantly blessed. I have the greatest gift of all. I have a family who unconditionally loves and values me. I have friends so dear to my heart. The truth is, my life isn’t complicated or messy. It is beautiful.
I am fiercely independent and have travelled to places people can only dream of and have no plans of stopping. I have an exciting career and amazing colleagues. I have the same stressors as the normal working person yet I yearn for what I don’t have. Funny isn’t it. We have all we could need but it isn’t enough. I am 27 years old with no husband or children. A failure that haunts me every day. I convinced myself that since I’m trained in psychology I can get over the emotional abuse and it’s ramifications I endured during my past relationship so as to not affect me going forward. LIES. I didn’t take the time to heal. I never worked through it. I never learnt to trust again. That’s on me. I took the coward’s way out.
The difference is,I have decided to make a change. Acknowledging and publishing my flaws does not make me weak, it shows my strength.
I will seek the guidance and help I need to be whole and love myself again the ways those dear to me, love me. I will take every day as a new opportunity to be grateful for everything I have and live to the fullest.I will make mistakes and learn from them. I will make my goals abundantly clear for the universe to hear me. The truth is, I was never broken. I was simply afraid. With confidence I can say that I have a purpose in this world. And that is to help others. In any and every way possible.
I am flawed yes, but I am perfectly ME. There is nobody that can ever replace or replicate ME.I am EMPOWERED to see my success through.I am perfectly on time for the life that is mine.I hope the rest of you out there that resonate with me, decide to take the plunge to make the change. Lets take this journey and leap of faith together.